Friday, May 30, 2008

Right around the corner...

I have been in school for about 20 years. Its about to end. Next Tuesday at 9 am is the culmination of my hard work and determination that has gotten me thus far. Its been a long, hard trip up a very, very high mountain. Many times, the fog was so dense I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. There were days that I just wanted to turn right around and walk down. The walk down is so much easier and so tempting. There were days I would convince myself that my valor as a woman who was not pursuing a family yet, was diminished, and guilt overcame me. I put many things aside to climb this mountain. The real question is, for what? Was it to prove myself to others? Was it to climb as high as I could just to say I wasn't a quitter? Was it a desire to help others? Or was it to prove to myself that I could do it? Honestly It was probably a little of all of those. And know i am about 3-4 steps from the peak. In those (hopefully only) 2 hours of my defense all of this will come to an end. I won't graduate yet, but graduation compared to the feeling at 11am doesn't even come close. I was talking to a friend of mine about the importance of this day and she said to me "People don't understand everything we went through to get here, if they did they would wonder why we did it. The only two people that truly understand are us, and our spouse (who had to live with us through it all)." Maybe she's right. There is a joy in my heart knowing I achieved something I honestly didn't think I could. But at 11 o'clock next Tuesday it will all be over and thankfully I will have my loving spouse and my wonderful parents waiting for me outside the door. I cannot put into words the joy I feel of having my loved ones be the first faces I see as I walk outside and await the deliberation of the committee. Unfortunately my brothers and their spouses won't be there (although we will see 2 of them later on Tuesday night). This hurts my heart a bit because if anyone has heard me talk about my brothers you would know the reverence I have for them and the yearning in my heart to share my biggest professional accomplishment to date with them. I know that they will be there in spirit. SO until next week....say a little prayer for me and light a little candle. (and if you are at A&M) please put a penny on Sully for me. :)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

kids teaching kids

Student 1: You are not line leader!

Student 2: Yes I is!

Student 1: 'Yes I is" don't make no sense!

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Kuhns Residence

has calmed down for the time being. We are enjoying the rest of May before Houston gets crazy humid. My husband is currently cooking dinner as I finish the laundry (and post.) We are eating hot dogs tonight! yay. I should be reformatting my dissertation, but that can wait. It is not everyday we are both off for the afternoon. One thing we are looking forward to is weekends. Since we began dating 6 years ago and we have never had weekends off. I can't wait! We are still waiting for Baby Marshall and Baby Graham to honor us with their birth, but they aren't ready. Baby Marshall was due last Sunday, but he's taking his/her sweet time. Baby Graham has his mommy on bedrest and we hope he/she holds off a bit before he/she shows up. Life is good here at the Kuhns', thank God.

P.S. Blair, we really need to get together before we leave!!!! What is your schedule like?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

THE DATE IS SET!!!

We have finalized the date of my defense for Tuesday, June 3rd at 9am!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

I arrived home to see the email below:

Nice Work. You may send it to your committee. Please let them know that you would appreciate their letting you know within two weeks of any significant concerns they have with your document, so that you will have the opportunity to address such concerns prior to the dissertation defense.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Update on the "D" word

Its funny to think how many times I have pressed the Send button thinking it was the last time my "little" paper would be broken into little pieces (think Willy Wonka) and sent across the world wide web into my advisor's inbox prompting her with a greeting "You've got mail". I have led myself to believe that this false sense of hope would actually actualize itself into reality. Too bad we can't think things and make them happen. So to make a long story short, we're still truckin' along. As Murphy would have it, I left my wonderful 2 gig flash drive in College Station on Friday. Not to fear, I had an old data set backed up on my computer so I am not freaking out just yet. If the journey to completion would be equivalent to my 5 hour trips to Laredo, I would say I am at the corner of Northstar and Coral Hills. The only problem is, that I have ran out of gas, and I am currently pushing my 2 ton pickup truck around the corner and up the driveway. My legs are tired, my hands are blistered, but I am almost there. I can tell that I am almost there, because my legs are cramping and my feet hurt. I know that if I stop pushing the truck, even to take a breath, it will run me over. There is no time to break down and feel sorry for myself. I think if anyone asks me how I am feeling, or if I am okay, my strong momentum will give in. If you have ever been in a situation like this (especially if you are a girl, I know you know what feeling I am talking about).
Last night, as Word "unexpectedly quit", I slowly pushed my laptop in front of me, and put my head in my hands. I started to giggle to myself about the situation and counted my blessings as the new Word for Mac is really good about recovering my previous work.
Jesse has been a real trooper. Every time my neurotic anxiety kicks in and I start complaining about him chewing too loud, drinking too loud, cracking pistachios, or even breathing too loudly (I know, I have a problem), he just smiles and moves to the other couch. He doesn't tell me how neurotic or irrational I am acting, he just complies. When I got up to get some water, he offered me a hug. And I (the neurotic one, remember), said "I am sorry if I take a hug now, I will break down and I need to just buckle down and get this done" I could see the understanding in his eyes as he just smiled and poured my water for me. Kudos to Jesse for being my number 1 fan.
So, ladies and gentlemen, keep me in your prayers as I turn the corner and drive up the block, I can see the house, but the truck is heavy. I will update you later on.

Words I am tired of using: Additionally, Furthermore, However, Consequently, Therefore, Unexpectedly, Similarly, Contrary to expectations, Consistent with the literature.

Prayer Request: PLEASE PLEASE keep Katey and her baby in your prayers. The baby has the the cord wrapped around its neck twice and she is on strict bed rest at least for the next two weeks so she can reach 36 weeks.